The glass is always half full over here..

First off I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas! Like many of you I probably won’t be “blogging” for the next couple days…

It’s recently come to my attention through a couple different conversations with people that some may be concerned for my husband and/or I. Because of the nature of my blog I realize it may portray my husband’s and my life as very negative and harsh. Since none of you know us personally and I’ve not really posted anything involving “good days” I can completely understand how our life may come across and I truly appreciate the concern!

I want to put the record straight real quick that while there are some “symptoms” that are daily and constant, the more intense things that happen in the stories about my husband are not typically a daily occurrence. In fact “good days” occur far more often than “bad days” for us personally. Most of the time my husband is completely functional, and if you didn’t spend as much time as I do with him you would never even know he had these struggles. (This goes hand in hand with ‘Why Heroes Hide‘).

Heightened awareness, needing to sit/stand facing the whole room, and needing to be woken gently and not startled awake are some of the constant daily things that will never change. While sometimes frustrating, really nothing debilitating. Nightmares, severe depression, and panic attacks are some of the things that can sometimes happen often and can be triggered on “good days”, but are not constant.

One other thing I want to set straight real quick, and I appreciate that none of my followers have ever judged us like this, but I want to say that PTSD is not scary. Or rather, people with PTSD are not scary. PTSD is very serious, but my husband and those like him are not “dangerous” and I for that matter am never in danger nor “scared” of him.

I want to apologize if my writings have made either of us come off as being in search of pitty, angry, bitter, or that we are not happy or positive people. I want to assure everyone who has expressed care that my husband has sought and used counseling in the past and he is not opposed to it in any way.

This blog is meant to help some people see into a world they may not know or understand and to be a safe and supportive place for those who do understand. If anyone ever has any questions pertaining to anything related to this blog, including my husband’s or my life personally I want you to feel free to ask and I would be glad to answer the best I can 🙂

On a side note, it’s been a wonderful holiday vacation here in Oregon 🙂 and I truly appreciate all my followers! You’ve made this a very humble blogging experience. God bless you all!

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Excuse or Reason? PTSD and physical abuse – Daily Prompt – Perspective

A couple days ago while my ridiculously overactive brain was wondering mercilessly at work an issue came to mind about military men/women and  physical abuse at home. The question in my head formed and I decided I really wanted my husband’s, a combat veteran and Marine, point of view so I asked..

“Obviously someone just being a straight up physically abusive spouse is NEVER ok. But what do you think of people who are just straight up abusers outside (or inside without combat experience) the military vs. someone with PTSD that blacks out or has a flashback and hits their spouse vs. someone with PTSD who does NOT black out but is dealing with PTSD and gets pushed too far, angry, and loses their cool and suddenly hits their spouse?”

Now I realize that’s a LOADED question and  mouthful. Through our discussion I also wondered and asked, “How does one (say a therapist) deacifer the difference between a man with PTSD/TBI having anger issues resulting in any form of abuse as someone who is not that kind of person and never would have been otherwise vs. someone who would have been an abuser with or without PTSD but PTSD May have just triggered it to start?”

I know the second question is a little confusing and I apologize. Im not going to write about how I feel on this issue or what my husband’s opinions were in this post because I’m still doing some more research and thinking of how I want to address that issue; however, I know you must be wondering how this pertains to the daily post prompt.

Firstly just being on the subject of perspective ones perspective on this issue will of course greatly vary based on whether or not the person has direct experience with abuse, no experience with military or ptsd, or does in fact have experience with the military and/or ptsd and veterans.

Secondly my perspective on physical abuse is in line with most of our opinions. While I think the abuser could certainly use help and counseling, I in no way shape or form excuse physical abuse and I hate it. However, when it comes to men and women suffering from PTSD/TBI and certain cases of reintegration back into society after war my perspective is a whole lot different because of someone I love and cherish. My husband.

Feel free to stay tuned for my future post discussing this issue..Also feel free to leave any insights pertaining to these questions or perspectives, I realize this is dipping into a very sensitive subject and I hope no one who has been or is linked to a victim of abuse feels I do not support you in any way shape or form or that I am trying to belittle your experiences. That is in no way my goal with this post nor my opinion. 

up and running!

Not a super in depth post here…just wanted to let people know I just finished my ‘about’ page as well as two other pages yesterday so my blog is starting to come together finally and I can now focus on some deeper posts. Check them out and feel free to let me know what you think and if I should add or edit anything! Also, I plan on having at least one or two more pages up relatively soon. One will be explaining my husband’s PTSD a little more in-depth which may help people better understand him and some of my future posts. Another page I’d like to dedicate to some resources as well as some general info on military, typical struggles, and PTSD/TBI. Thanks for taking your time to read my blog! Hope everyone has a blessed Monday 🙂