The quality in others that bugs me the most has to be ignorance and lack of care for others. On a more biased note it REALLY bugs me when people do not even attempt to understand, tolerate, and/or genuinely care about veterans, military, and their families. Being that I am surrounded by the military culture everyday these peoples have not only become my family (quite literally) but have also become my passion. So it is only natural that I be a bit biased towards everything pertaining to them. Ironically one of my least favorite characteristics in people may also be one of the least desirable characteristics in myself. While I try my best (but can always do better) to be understanding and caring of others I too am not always great at this. There are many things I am ignorant about myself. I have actually thought quite a bit about this contradiction and how to solve it in myself as it both frustrates and confounds me.
It can be really difficult, especially if you’re an over thinker like me, to both be passionate about something and unbiased about it at the same time. In fact, I’d venture to say that it’s basically impossible. One can surely work to understand and listen to opposing sides of something, but by human nature we are biased. Period. It’s also pretty impossible as humans to know and care deeply about any and every cause out there. We can support all the causes we find “good”..cancer, veterans, abused children, AIDS awareness, ext….however being active and genuinely passionate (in the word’s deepest form of meaning) of so many things is simply impossible. And what I’ve learned over time is that is OK. In fact, this kind of biased can be a GOOD thing.
If we were all passionate about everything we thought worthy of our passion then we would never get anything done (as funny as that sounds). It’s the same idea that if EVERYONE was an amazing football player, then essentially NO ONE would be a great football player because we would all be equal. Or the fact (yes I said it, FACT) that not EVERYONE can be a winner, otherwise NO ONE would win.
We are all good at certain things because if we were all good at the same thing we would never accomplish anything. Society and life requires that we all be better at different things. We all have our unique gifts and likewise we all have our unique passions. If everyone was passionate about fighting cancer, then who would be left to stand up for abused children? If we were all passionate about teaching, then who would there be to invent advancing technology?
In realizing this I have also formed the opinion that I believe counseling would be so much more productive and helpful if we didn’t have just “general psychologist/counselors/ext” but if each psychologist/counselor worked specifically with the issues they were most passionate about. Of course a theory like this requires a perfect world where we would never be short of counselors for every kind of issue/peoples. But hear me out. If I am most passionate about military, veterans, and other service workers such as police and firefighters then I am naturally going to be much better at helping them and listening to them than I would be at listening to someone, who say, suffers from multiple personality disorder. However someone who is very passionate about families and children and keeping them together are going to be much better at marriage, family, and child counseling.
This is not to say that I don’t care deeply about all kinds of people and issues, but we all have specific passions. And even as someone whose passion is to help people through counseling, generally speaking they will also have a more specific passion for certain types of issues. I think by focusing on our passions this would not only make for better counseling and help, but also less burnout for counselors and psychologists/psychiatrists.
So I guess to get back to the point of this whole rant. While we all have our pet peeves and dislikes, we are all just as guilty of distasteful characteristics to others. However I think that, like our differences in passions, our differences in personality go hand in hand. We are all different, and we cannot expect to like everyone around us, but through our differences comes the success and beauty of mankind.